Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Transformation Tuesday


So as i was typing my caption and looked at the day, i thought to myself how appropriate it actually is a tuesday! So i know i have been posting many progress pictures on Instagram saying i would make a blog post about my transformation. Actually writing the damn thing is way harder then i thought. First of all your like, do i even want people to see my body? i see many beautiful girls posting half naked pictures of themselves on Instagram or Facebook and all respect to ya, it remains scary to most of us. Second of all there is shame involved, do i want people to see what i looked like at some point? many of my friends where speechless because they never really realized how bad it had gotten. Basically i have been a fit girl ever since i lost 30 kilo's 5 years ago. That was such an accomplishment! i am the type of person that doesn't deal well with big changes, so going back to school, or starting a new job is a big change for me. It sort of messes up my whole rhythm and flow mostly ending in me neglecting my fitness regime and healthy lifestyle. I have experienced many ups and downs when it comes to weight gaining and weight loss. Everybody has a system that works for them and i have finally found mine! 

I have been working on me for the past year, my body, my state of mind and my health because i came out of a bad break-up. During my relationship i gained a lot of weight (say about 12 kilo's) i had already gained some weight before, because 5 years ago i went from 85 kilo's to 55 kilo's in one year. This time around i have found a healthy lifestyle instead of dieting, because in that time i was never aloud to cheat or eat a lot of carbs, it was safe to say i got skinny...not "fit". During my relationship i gained the extra 15 kilo's and was almost hitting the number on the scale as before. I guess you can say i am an emotional eater, so during my relationship i was eating 80% of the time because i was unhappy. I never stopped working out, i would always workout 3/4 times a week, sometimes 2 but i would never loose any weight which was mentally frustrating. Always seeing other peoples succes stories on Instagram, being all like if i can do it you can etc. and i couldn't wait for the day that i could post my own progress and look back at my fit journey and the path i am on. Even though i never stopped working out i ate very poorly, each time i thought oh i gymmed today so i can eat whatever i want. Obviously it doesn't work if your diet is poor. I saw my condition, endurance, muscle definition disappear and i did not like what i saw. At the end of 2015 i started doing Kayla Itsines at a certain point which helped me with my bad physical condition and jolted up my motivation to become loose weight. 

So at the beginning of last year i finally ended my relationship. Choosing me and deciding i have a lot of work to do to love myself again. The best relationship you will ever work on is the relationship you have with yourself. So my fit journey started last year Januari, i set course to happiness within myself. A big part of would mean loving my body, feeling healthy, fit and comfortable in my own skin. Seeing my body change so many times it can be frustrating at times but i knew i could do it, because i had once before. But it should be a different kind of path this time, a path that would be life changing, a lifestyle, a way of living, not just a momento. I had lost about 6 kilo's in June 2016, but once summer '16 came around and living on Ibiza the vino started pooring, like a bottle a day, i gained so much weight again (it can go so fast when drinking alcohol!) I remember photoshopping a picture i made into what i wished i looked like and i was so sick and tired of my excuses and mindset i completely changed my life at that point. I think you need to hit a sort of rock bottom for certain life choices before you are ready to give 200% for what you really want. You can go to the gym, or eat healthy but it's persistence, motivation and dedication that keeps you going. After summer i limited my alcohol use to once a week, went to the gym 4 days a week and started eating healthy, controlling my calories, proteins, carbs and fats. It was a slow process with ups and downs, don't forget it really is a journey! it does NOT happen overnight. During this period of time i was working fulltime from 9-6, managing my 4 dogs and working out 4 days a week. After my internship this year in Januari, i upped the anty. I had already lost a lot of weight, found my dedication, goals and motivation, found my dietary regime and a healthy balance for everything in my life. So now i workout 8 times a week, i go to the gym 6 times a week doing weight training and i kickbox 2 times a week. I have a controlled dietary schedule, but i get to cook amazing things which i really love! im eating loads and i get to cheat one/two meals a week, and i still drink my wine once a week! now i really get to enjoy those days because i know i have earned it and it's not just a daily routine i don't appreciate. A lot of people ask me, what's your goal? my answer?... It's not a goal it's my life, my therapy and my destination.

I have come to realize now i look back at my journey, you will never loose weight if you are mentally not ready. You will mentally keep yourself from loosing all of the "emotional shit" you are dealing with at the time. It's like your mind is blocking your body, when confronting and dealing your emotional state of mind you will open yourself up to achieving things you never thought you could achieve.

SO now the moment has finally come for me to say here i am today, i have lost 17 kilo's since Aug 2016, i feel amazing and great i have started a relationship with myself by nurturing it and taking care of it and i have never felt better in my life. I know there are a lot of you out there that struggle every day and scrol online seeing people's transformation and succes stories wishing it was you, i was that person...but trust in yourself and your body because if you open up to possibilities you can achieve anything! To bring this story to an end, I AM DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF and nobody can ever take that away or change that.

- Hope you enjoyed my story feel free to ask me anything or post your own inspiration!

Love Jana

Progress pictures


During Kayla Itsines 2015




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